Another glorious blue sky greeted us as we got ready for our second last orienteering event. This one involved a trip up on the gondola, to the event centre. After that, who knew? The “organisers” (I use that term advisedly) had provided next to no information about the courses. We had to be on the gondola by 9am, or so we were told.

We glided steeply up past the mountain face, noting rock cliffs and precipitous pine clad slopes. Surely it wont be like this, we reassured ourselves.  Alighting at the top station, we took in the views over Queenstown, the lakes and the Remarkables opposite, then followed the orienteering flags upwards to the registration tent.

Situated right next to the luge track was a popup tent, and a sign ominously pointing upwards, saying “all starts this way”. There was no sign of the actual start and nothing to tell us how far it was. This was clearly self preservation on the part of the organisers who did not want to be lynched.  Rumour started to spread that it was a 20 minute climb.  We could see the finish control at the edge of a gloomy forest.

I decided to get some intel before committing myself to something I couldnt handle; luckily I did _ “yes its very steep” and “no probably better not attempt it if you have vertigo”.  “But why not just walk up to the start and do a couple of the first controls. then come back down? The views up there are fantastic” they suggested helpfully.  So I donned my o-shoes, girded my loins, and began going up.

Shortly afterward the track split, and the left hand fork rose like a wall above me. I decided that I was biting off more than I could chew, and reluctantly came back down. I passed the time waiting for the boys by taking photos of the luge, the chairlift, and the bungy jump. Even that looked safer than the orienteering.

Margi did one control and abandoned her course, but she grabbed my map for me so I got to see what I’d foregone.  I took one look and thanked the gods that I’d stayed off the course. What part of this was “Easy?”  There were 34 contours, or 170 metres, just to get to the start.  Then there was at least another 100 metres to the first control.  The route from there was all taped, as it traversed a shale slope and dropped steeply back down all those contours.  It looked like all my worst orienteering nightmares. The stupid thing was that there were plenty of tracks down near the rego tent that they could have sent the easy courses on. Very disappointing, as I entered in good faith with the expectation that Easy would mean just that. And very poor from a supposedly professional organiser.

Pete gave up after 6 controls, although Vic and Simon both finished. Ted also abandoned, having found himself dropping down into a sinkhole up to his neck, and having to brace himself against the sides then ease himself out like a cork coming reluctantly out of a bottle.  Later, we watched Simon’s go-pro footage,a and saw that track out of the start was along a narrow ridge, with steep drops off either side. I don’t think my vestibular therapist had this in mind when he told me to go for three walks a day in “varying environments”.

So for the only time I can remember, I didn’t even make it to the start line.  On the plus side, I got the gondola ride and the view.